It’s really very simple. Give her chocolate or cake and cunnilingus!
Here are my Top 10 Tips to Give her the Best Head of Her Life
Set the mood, dim the lights, put some scented candles around the room and relaxing music
If you’re in a trusting healthy relationship, and she’ll let you, blindfold her, so that all her focus is on what she is feeling and experiencing
Massage her from top to toe, avoiding all sexual areas, apart from the odd brushing past tease
Kiss her deeply, then trail your tongue down to her public area making sure you give attention to everywhere between the tops of her thighs and tummy button
Don’t forget the crease where the leg and hip join it’s mega sensitive – try licks, nibbles and kisses all around the pubic area
Tease her with long licks then short flicks of your tongue over the hood of her clitoris and along her vagina lips
Make it a slow build up, to have her begging for more. Watch her body language and the physiological signs that you’re on the right or wrong track!
Try different pressures, different techniques. Remember there is no right or wrong, enjoy what you are doing and focus on what it’s doing for her. Savour and devour her as you would your favourite dessert
The key is to tease, however be aware of when she is about to climax and when she’s telling you not to stop, then don’t change a thing! Keep going and tip her over the edge
Then reap the rewards when she’s horny and begging for it!
As I sit and write this my little one is chirping away on her mat as she finds her voice. It’s like sweet music that I could listen to all day. She is just starting to move around and soon there will be no stopping her!
On the 23rd September I welcomed my beautiful daughter Evie-Rae into this world, and I am still in awe and a little overwhelmed every day that I have been blessed to be entrusted with this little tiny human for the first 18 years of her life. She is my daughter but I don’t ‘own’ her, she is her ‘own’ being.
Already she is showing signs of independence. She’s not a needy clingy baby, and is quite happy to chill by herself (allowing me time to work and clean the house), and equally she is happy when we engage with each other, she gazes into my eyes and we connect so deeply, and she’s even happy to be passed around from person to person she doesn’t know. She sleeps through the night, and only cries if there is a problem. So far she is grounded, chilled and happy.
I want her to grow up knowing that whoever she is I will always accept, love and support her whatever her gender, sexuality, and lifestyle. I want her to feel the freedom to express herself, and follow her dreams no matter how big or small. The most important thing is her happiness.
The past few years I have studied Buddhism, Hinduism, mindfulness and meditation and these things have given me coping strategies for life and my emotions. My goal is to teach her how to manage her emotions in a healthy way through being able to show her how to reach a place of calm, and encourage compassion and forgiveness.
We are all equal, no matter what we do, someone homeless on the street is no more or less of a person to someone raking in a million a year. I cannot bear when people hierarchy other people. Whether it’s “they’re too posh”, “I/they only live in a council house”, or “I/they just work as a cleaner” we should never place others at higher or lower value to ourselves, and I want to instil this value in Evie Rae.
If she wants to work in MacDonald’s then I will support that one hundred percent. Her life, her dream, her choice. My only hope for her is that she sees some of the world and experiences what different cultures have to offer.
Every morning I say with her, “we are happy, we are blessed and we are grateful.” Gratitude is something I was sadly missing as a child, and it’s something I think is so important.
My hope is that’s she’s not I don’t one of those kids that’s ‘want want want’, I would like to encourage her to ‘give give give’, and to not get attached to material things. I’d like to think she would be that child that goes up and gives her toys to other children to play with and/or keep.
Not being religious I don’t buy extravagant gifts any more for Christmas, last year I hand made all my gifts, and most were editable or drinkable, so there won’t be any being spoiled at Christmas for her. No I phones or tablets or flashy ‘keeping up with the Jones’s’ stuff. Christmas for us is about giving and family and remembering those less fortunate. In my opinion children need more love and quality time not stuff. I cannot understand the financial and emotional stress some families put on themselves at Christmas to buy gifts for their children.
These are just a few of the values that I wanted to share on Mother’s Day. Happy Mother’s Day to all you mums out there you’re doing a great job! And if you’re doing ‘mum and dad’ roles, like myself, without any financial support, then keep going you are strong, we can do this! It is far better to go it alone rather than be in a toxic relationship.
In some cases yes, however often what happens is there is a strong connection physically and mentally however unless both have discussed and agreed long term plans, then couples can find that they want different things.
For Cheryl she a decade longer at her career, and now she has Bear wants to settle, focus on her family and embrace motherhood away from the limelight, whilst Liam’s solo career is going from strength to strength he wants to try and juggle everything, leaving Cheryl feeling that his priorities aren’t his family. My Sexpert opinion would be that they have grown distant physically as a result of this. In my experience women can often use sex as a weapon and withdraw all intimacy if they are not having their emotional needs met. It’s a dangerous game to play, as it pushes the partner to look elsewhere.
This is where being at different stages in your life can cause a problem especially when there is an age gap.
Here’s some tips if you are thinking of starting a relationship with some one younger or older:
Discuss where you are now both financially and emotionally independently of each other. Is one of you leaning on the other more emotionally or financially? If it isn’t balanced then it’s important to check there’s no resentment or controlling behaviour. Balanced doesn’t mean you both have to bring the same amount of monies to the table, it means that you both need to be happy and secure with what you are bringing to the relationship. Both of your needs have to be met for a healthy relationship.
Take sex out of the equation and check that you have enough of a connection for longevity – good sex will often keep couples in toxic relationships, so it’s so important to be mindful about what else you have as couple. Take some time out to write all the qualities you love and admire about your partner that aren’t physical, and make sure there is enough to warrant giving a relationship a go.
Discuss your plans and goals for the next 5 and 10 years. If you don’t have any, it’s good to put some thought into it. Knowing what you want and don’t want is helpful when figuring out if a relationship is worth a shot. This relies on both parties being 100% truthful to themselves and their partner. Juggling a relationship with being a parent and working whilst still maintaining time for self is extremely challenging. Investing time in all of these areas is key and both have to be equally committed.
Be aware that although you can do all of the above to minimise incompatibility, situations happen, and sometimes there can be a change of heart, nothing is set in stone. For example someone who says they don’t want kids, may change their mind. And they are entitled to do that. If you don’t also come round to the idea you may find that the relationship isn’t for you, and that’s when it’s time to consider whether to walk away.
Being a woman today is all about being in touch with your sexual energy (which we all have), known as the Divine Feminine, and utilising it’s power. It is the most powerful energy we have and when we hone that our life and relationships are transformed in the most magnificent way.
Gone are the days where sex is something to be shameful about if you enjoy it as a woman, today we should all embrace our sexuality in a way that demands respect, and enjoy sex in a healthy, mutually satisfying way.
Good sex is all about being in tune with your partner and communicating your needs, listening to theirs, whilst exploring each other’s bodies and savouring every moment.
Sometimes it’s that lustful spontaneity and raw sexual energy that satisfies, other times it’s that slow build up and extended foreplay building anticipation that stimulates and excites.
My next class is in Nottingham on Friday April the 27th so if you’re a woman looking to feel empowered in the bedroom then contact me for details of this event. I can also give you advice on toys for masturbation, if you contact me via email or my enquiry form. I would be happy to help.
Here’s my 5 Top Tips to Feel Empowered in the Bedroom
Take control. It’s a huge turn on for your partner, and hugely empowering for you. Spontaneity and catching them off guard will make you feel even more empowered. If you dare tie them up and use a blindfold to really get both of your juices going!
Communicate your sexual desires, and fantasies, if you have any. It can be very arousing and an exciting part of foreplay. Being assertive to communicate what you like means your sexual partner knows how to turn you on and get you off. It’s a win win!
Masturbate. Knowing your own body is key to being able to guide your lover. Experiment with erotic literature, kink and toys and find out what works for you. Let yourself go, touch yourself, and allow yourself to feel the pleasure that you deserve.
Wear lingerie and clothing that make you feel empowered. Whether it’s a pair of killer stilettos, a sexy basque or stockings, all of the above, or maybe you want to dress up in leather or rubber dominatrix style…? Knowing you feel confident will ensure you get the most out of your sexy time.
Yes orgasms are amazing however don’t make them the goal, otherwise you will be so focussed on the destination you won’t enjoy the ride. Your goal should be to be present and savour every moment and every sensation, with orgasm being a bonus, if it happens.
I was asked to comment for today’s Sun newspaper as to whether I agree with scientist’s findings that the G Spot doesn’t exist. My answer is no I do not agree. Myself and millions of women who have experienced the G Spot orgasm and squirting will also disagree. However for arguments sake lets call it a ‘sweet spot’, which kills the debate altogether.
As a Sexpert I have taught many men and women how to enjoy the pleasures of the sweet spot which can result in a very different and intense orgasm, specifically internally. The G Spot or ‘sweet spot’, whatever you want to call it, is a textured roundish area about 2.5 inches inside the vagina on the front wall. It’s very easy to find with fingers and you know when you have it as you may get an urge to pee.
When this area is stimulated and massaged with either a vibrator or fingers this can lead to orgasm and sometimes what’s known as squirting, where fluid is ejaculated from the urethra.
Sex toys for the ‘G Spot’ have a slight curve at the end designed to bend inwards to massage the G Spot. There would not be such a big market for these toys if the G Spot didn’t exist. I teach all about the ‘G Spot’ in my Ultimate Pleasure Taster classes in Nottingham.
I have various G Spot massagers and vibrators starting at £9.99 to premium USB chargeable vibrators for £39.99. If you want advice on these or you have any questions about this sweet spot then send me an email via my contact form and I would be happy to help.
I don’t think we need to keep having this debate or discussion about the G Spot. If scientists are struggling to find it, I’m glad I’m not their wife or girlfriend, I’m just happy I know where mine is and what to do with it.
In summary, I am not having a scientist tell me what I and many women experience, is a myth! The pleasure speaks for itself 😜
Sex shouldn’t be about feeling under pressure to do or experience anything. This takes away the pleasure in my opinion. Ultimately the best way to enjoy sex and intimacy is to relax and have fun exploring your partners body without any specific goals, including orgasm!
Here’s My 5 Step Guide to Finding Your Sweet Spot (G Spot)
Find some time to relax, switch your phone off, and go somewhere you won’t be disturbed. Make sure you have lubrication on hand and have been for a pee first
Lie on your back and smooth some lubrication over your dominant hands middle and forefinger finger. You can either use one or two fingers. If you’re using the one, use your middle finger (your longest finger)
Slowly penetrate your vagina with your finger(s) your finger tip should be facing your front vagina wall, once its curled in
Your finger should be the perfect length to reach it. Gently move your finger around to find the walnut textured spot (and around that size), that’s where you touch/massage. It’s very sensitive to touch. You may feel like you need to pee, if so that’s the spot!
Experiment with different strokes and different pressures. You may or may not experience orgasm in this way. It tends to happen when you completely relax and let yourself go even when you think you are about to pee. Any fluid that is produced or ejaculated is not pee, (although research has reported traces as it comes from the urethra), it’s released from the skene’s glands.
Find what you like, and once you find it try with toys and then introduce your new friend to your partner!
Last night I was giving anal sex tips to Fubar’s dapper duo Mikill Payne and fellow Nottingham chap Reece Sanders!
Firstly, I would like to point out that not everyone has and enjoys anal sex or even experiences it. There seems to be a bit of an obsession with it nowadays. It’s important not to feel pressured into trying it if it’s not something that appeals to you.
Here are my 5 Tops Tips for beginner’s Anal Sex
Always make sure you discuss and both agree wholly to trying the experience, rather than one person doing it reluctantly to please their partner
The receiver should be the one totally in control, and needs to be able to communicate clearly what they find comfortable or not, to guide their partner
Ideally you would experiment in the anus area with tongues, fingers or small butt plugs over a number of sessions before penis or strap on penetration
Lots of lube is required for penetration. Always. And penetration is only given when the receiver is fully relaxed – so lots of foreplay is advised
Be patient as the giver. This may be something you work up to over a number of bedroom sessions
The best lubricants in my experience are ID lubricants. They win awards every year. You can get samples and buy water based regular and flavoured and silicone and anal lubes and beginners butt plugs directly from me.
Contact me for details and to buy or purchase from my boutique:
Sharing is caring. For #timetotalk world mental health awareness day here’s my story…
I recently posted on my Facebook page that I found it inspiring so many people sharing their stories/journeys about their mental health. The more people speak out the more people feel less alone.
This is particularly sensitive to me right now as I have my almost 5 month old daughter. One of my recent concerns was passing on my problems with mental health to my little girl. Now I have come to terms that I don’t need to hide them from her, just educate her and show her how I manage them.
Little did I know that at the tender young age of 8 I was already affected by mental health issues. I thought nothing of the fact that I deemed myself ugly, because that was a fact in my world. I had already told all my school friends that I was going to have plastic surgery on my face when I grew up, so I could be beautiful. I had got it into my head that you just had your face wrapped in bandages, kept them on for a while and then when you took them off you were beautiful. This is testament to my young age.
I realise this disturbingly is quite common now, however 35 years ago before the celeb culture, gossip magazines and reality T.V. plastic surgery was definitely not the norm and I didn’t know anyone who had had any surgery. My mum was a very naturally beautiful woman, who didn’t wear a lot of make up and wasn’t obsessed by how she looked. In fact I never heard her say one negative thing about herself. She was always very body positive, and she never ever dieted.
Affected by low self esteem a sense of not being good enough propelled what I now know to be BDD Body Dysmorphia Disorder. A distorted view on how one looks and an obsessiveness with appearance, often leading to in severe cases people not leaving the house so as not to impose their ‘ugliness’ on the world, to continually seeking surgery to ‘perfect’ their look. There are many celebrities that fall into this latter category, sadly many are unaware or choose not to speak out about BDD.
I also fall into the latter category. This is the first time I have ever shared this information, however I have had 10 cosmetic surgeries, including 3 breast enhancements, and most recently 2 nose jobs. I’ve also had many botox and threads treatments. My obsession with surgery came when I could afford it, once I started working as an escort. I’d ‘fix’ one thing and then look for the next.
BDD is a type of OCD (obsessive character compulsive disorder) and is often combined with other obsessive disorders, for me this has been skin picking. Both of these conditions cause a huge amount of distress and anxiety. I have also been affected by depression and panic attacks.
It’s the accumulation and recognition of these things that sent me down the path of self development and then learning skills to help others with similar problems. It is only through battling with my own mental health issues that I believe I have found the strength to help others. These types of mental illness, like many, are not curable, however one learns coping strategies and how to manage them.
The skill set that helped me that I now use for my work is my training in NLP and hypnotherapy. I’ve come a long way since that little lost girl, some days I do pretty well and others not so, but that’s life and I’m forever grateful for the good and bad, as you can’t have darkness without light. The biggest lesson I have learnt is self acceptance, and self love and through this I have learnt to love and embrace these challenging parts of my life.
Please share this story if you know someone who it might help feel less alone.
Tomorrow morning I’ll be on BBC Tees discussing a sex doll brothel thats recently opened.
So is it cheating if you’re in a relationship and have sex with a sex doll? There’s an interesting concept and debate!
Whilst there is a place for sex dolls just like any other sex toy, the danger is that we become further and further removed from human contact and the turmoil of human emotions that go along with all relationships, both platonic and sexual, making us much like erm…. dolls :/
How will this affect men/women’s view of their expectations of women and for women how they feel about their bodies in a world where unrealistic fake proportions are becoming the norm?
January and February are the months that see divorce solicitors rubbing their hands together with glee, as they rake in the cash from the relationship catastrophes that are left in the wake of the New Year.
I do feel that guys particularly struggle when relationships end, because of their lack of support and the fact that they have been socially conditioned to bottle things up for fear as being seen as weak. This is one of the reasons the male suicide rate is so high – 8 out of 10 being male.
Not only can relationships break down because of undiagnosed mental health issues, they can also cause mental health issues. I know because I have been there. The only way to truly get over a relationship is to talk and seek support to work through the shattered confidence, anger, broken heart and fragile ego to name only a few of the emotional turmoils experienced when a relationship ends.
This is my first class of the year to perk you up and take away those January blues with a bit of blue.
If you’ve been before, come along again as those of you regulars know I always add new content and have new products to demo. If you’ve been before it’s £10.00 if not it’s just £20.00 for 2 hours of entertainment and education, and there are only 10 spaces available.
This event is for women and gay men of all ages (20-70 plus) both single and in relationships and all levels of experience.
A little bit about me… I’ve been in the sex industry for over 20 years and my mission for this workshop is to empower men and women, so that in our modern world they embrace their sexuality, feel confident in the bedroom and make talking about sex comfortable for everyone. From the feedback I have received so far, I’m pleased to report that I am achieving that, even with the most shyest and prudish 😉
I am currently featured as one of the Sexperts on Channel 5’s Sex Pod. As a sexpert I’ve sat alongside Rylan Clark on Big Brothers Bit on the Side, and my new book The Great British Sexpert’s Guide to Pleasing Your Men – 101 Sex Tips, is out now.
Think Ann Summers party, but without the tackiness. My ladies events are classy, educational and lots of fun.
Some of the things you will learn are:
masturbation techniques for him and her
the art of edging to give enhance orgasm
Professional blow and hand job techniques to drive him wild
how to use lube to enhance foreplay for you and him
how to use mild bondage techniques to tantalise, tease and elongate foreplay whilst you explore your partner from top to toe
Guests range from students, to business owners and retired, some single some in relationships and some married, so my events really are for everyone – regardless of experience.