Check out this weeks Reveal for my Sexpert advice on Katie Price and Kieran Haylers relationship.
Infidelity is challenging for any relationship, however add in being betrayed by your two best friends and finding out your partner has a sex addiction, and that infidelity is magnified to a level to cause maximum emotional turmoil.
It’s not surprising that Katie and Kieran’s relationship hasn’t fully recovered from both of these challenging situations. A healthy relationship is based on trust, and without that you are left with various levels of a toxic relationship. By toxic I mean one that is emotionally damaging to everyone in it.
Kieran is still being punished for his behaviour, (however lets remember that most couples wouldn’t survive this level of betrayal). Katie is a fighter and she wants to fix things and make them right, she doesn’t want another relationship to fail. This is a feeling myself and many will relate to, especially those like Katie who are very successful in so many other areas of their lives.
The power balance has always been out of synch with Katie playing the dominant role from the beginning (which unconsciously many successful women do), and guys can feel intimidated and emasculated by this. His sex addiction and messing around with her best friends gave him a feeling of being in control, feeling powerful whilst offering a temporary release from the pressure of trying to live up to the percieved expectations of Katie and trying to maintain some of his masculinity.
Neither party is getting their needs met currently, so to move forwards they have to communicate their needs candidly, support each other and unite, and this needs to be done behind closed doors.
People want to be around people that make them feel good, so if Kieran either has his own insecurities and/or feels like Katie makes him feel not good enough, he will be withdrawing more and more into himself if he feels like he has no one to talk to. I imagine that he is feeling quite lonely right now. Katie’s outlet is to publically talk about their sex life and her distrust in her talks, interviews and books, however he has no outlet for his feelings. Every time Katie talks about Kieran’s infidelity, she relives, reaffirms it and this keeps the anger alive and very much in the present.
The problem is to move forwards she has to fully and wholly forgive him and let go, and she’s not ready to do that yet, and may never be ready to.
True forgiveness is key, combined with compassion and love. I really wish them both the very best.
Don’t let your relationship go all Brangelina!
Relationships are hard work, and whats needed is awareness in the changing dynamics. Inevitably all relationships change over time, it could be you want different lifestyles/goals, it may be one of you ends up with an addiction problem, it could be illness either mental of physical including stress, or a new addition to the family. All these things and much more put a strain on your relationship and it can mean that basic intimacy gets forgotten.
It’s important to be aware of these changes because it’s these challenging times when you need to make sure that intimacy levels don’t slip. Let me clarify that by intimacy I don’t necessarily mean sex. Intimacy is a kiss on the cheek, a hug, or even holding hands and clothed touching.
If you’re nervous about initiating intimacy, perhaps it’s been a long time, or scared to be open about your needs, perhaps you want more foreplay, or more sex, or to spice up your sex life and try new things, if you’re in a monogamous relationship then Monogamy is the game to do all of these things and much more.
Find out how it can help you with your sex life and relationship here…
In light of Brads alleged affair I was inspired to post…
Infidelity is sadly rife in many marriages and relationships today, and with the consistent reports of cheating celebrities and sports stars, it’s almost considered the norm.
Here are my top Five Tips to stop your husband straying:
1) Be aware of any changing dynamics in the relationship and make sure communication channels are open.
Are you growing apart? Has sex become infrequent or non-existent? Are you no longer physically attracted to your partner? Are you rejecting his advances? Is he rejecting yours? If you feel any of these things, your marriage is in the danger zone! Burying your head in the sand is not the way to deal with things. As long as you are aware and addressing issues as they arise, you should be able to keep your marriage on track. Always communicate in a positive, open way and be willing to compromise.
If he tries to address worries or concerns with the relationship, listen to him and don’t get defensive — otherwise he may not communicate in the future and just go and cheat.
The thing is that men are clumsy and they are not natural communicators like women, so cut him some slack and try not to take what he says literally. If he thinks you’ll fly off the handle he won’t bother again. Listen to him and try to find solutions for his concerns. That way he will be encouraged to communicate more often and will be less likely to cheat.
Communication is a two-way street and you both have to be open to it and encourage it — not avoid it.
2) Don’t forget the flirty little things that you can do even when the kids are home: little strokes, kisses, touches and squeezes.
These intimate gestures don’t take a lot of time and effort but they are the things that you will notice couples in love doing. They help to keep the connection, which in turn will minimize the risk of him straying.
Men are visual so don’t forget the teasing views you can give him; for example if he loves your breasts, try a low-cut top. Perhaps you’re in the kitchen and need to bend down and happen to be wearing a short dressing gown or nightdress. Flirting should be fun and exciting. If his eyes are on you, then he won’t be looking elsewhere!
3) If possible, be spontaneous with lovemaking and have fun exploring sexual fantasies and desires.
I do understand that it is difficult when you have children and busy lives, but if you can make things spontaneous when the moment arises it is priceless. He will be thinking about you at work and throughout his day. He’s unlikely to be noticing other women when he has spontaneous sex. Instead of making excuses when the rare opportunity arises, just go for it! It will probably make you feel better too. After all, headaches are cured with a good orgasm, so it’s not a valid excuse for avoiding sex. Spontaneous doesn’t mean you have to make it about him; it’s a huge turn on for men when you use their body for your own gratification.
Talk to your partner about his desires and fantasies and see if there’s a way you are comfortable accommodating them in some capacity. Experiment with your own fantasies.
4) Be confident in who you are as a person and know your values. Don’t allow yourself to be a push over. Demand respect.
Many guys cheat simply because they are allowed to. A serial cheat doesn’t respect women and never will. I know people want to stay together for their children, but what sort of example is set when the kids see their mother accepting infidelity in the marriage? Even if you think you are hiding things well, children pick up on the vibes. They know whether they have parents that are a team or if they despise or just put up with each other. If it is the latter, they see that there is no affection. Think about how your actions and choices will affect their future relationships.
5) Make sure that you make quality time for just the two of you.
Having children doesn’t mean that you should neglect your marriage; you both need to find time to work on your marriage and keep the connection. After all, your marriage is the foundation for your family — your roots, so to speak.
Try to find a way to have some sort of date night at least once every couple of weeks — a night where you get sitters or take the kids to stay with relatives and do something fun, relaxing or romantic just the two of you.
You both need quality time together and it’s imperative that you find it somehow. Don’t make excuses as to why you can’t, because if you think you can’t then you can’t. Be the glass-half-full person, realize the importance and think, “how can I make time?” Then you will start to come up with solutions.
I can help stop him cheating….
Check out my new sex tips Book 101 Sex Tips – A Guide To Pleasing Your Man, available now, get your signed copy from my Boutique, just click the tab on my home page 🙂
The time has come! Finally my new sex tips book is out and available to buy from my Sexpert Boutique (and all good book shops :). However you may want to get your hands on a free one… and why wouldn’t you??
I’m giving away 5 signed copies, watch my video to find out what you need to do to be one of those 5 lucky people to get their hands on the very first copies of my book!
I’ve been sharing my tips and sex advice for years, via my first book The Girlfriend Experience, some via my blog and social media however I have now collated my tips on sexually pleasing men in one book. This book is all about how to please your man, can you guess what my next one will be? I haven’t forgotten you ladies don’t worry. I know men need guidance too on how to please women.
Inspired by The Great British Bake Off GBBO I mix cake, sex and tea, in this sex tips book with a difference.
Is it a hall pass?
Is kissing ok?
Is any physical sexual contact a no no?
What she really means when she says “Let’s take a break” or agrees to one is, step up, prove your worth, make me feel like the only girl in the world, show me how much you love/care for me. Don’t give up on me! Fight for me!
This video was inspired by Geordie Shores Charlotte Crosby and Gary Beadle after Gary allegedly had a threesome filming Ex on The Beach after spending his last night before the show with Charlotte. This prompted another break up in their on/off relationship. There’s mixed views as to whether this is ok I’m finding out from my pol on Twitter which currently shows that 29% of people think it’s ok to sleep with someone else, 47% of people think it’s not ok, and 24% of people think kissing is ok.
If you want to make sure there are no misunderstandings when you are ‘taking a break’ then watch my video and I’ll show you how.
Is Zayn the bad guy? See my thoughts here on the latest celebrity cheating scandal Perrie Edwards from Little Mix and Zayn Malik from One Direction …
Harry Derbidge and Bobby Norris put their troubles behind them.. or Do They? Celebrity Body Language Exposed
Towie Couple Harry Derbidge and Bobby Norris put their troubles behind them reports the Daily Mail
Harry and Bobby are taking things slowly after Harry admitted to cheating with his ex.
Moving on from infidelity is one of the hardest challenges, because once trust is broken it is very hard to mend.
Some of the negative emotions that are a byproduct of infidelity are paranoia, insecurity, jealousy and anger, along with a knock to ones confidence and self belief.
Looking at the photos of them both although they appear to be all smiles, their body language tells a different story.
Currently there is no sexual desire as they both keep their distance from the other. Pelvises touching and facing shows a sexual connection. There is no synergy in their body language they are not mirroring each others walks, or any gestures. This shows that currently they are not connected.
These 2 are keeping up appearances for the paps, but their body language gives their true feelings away. Hopefully they will sort things out one way or the other without too much heartache. In my opinion I don’t think they can go the distance, I think Bobby’s ready to settle down and feel that long term security, however Harry isn’t, he’s enjoying the spot light and lifestyle that Towie is offering him and why not, these boys are still young with plenty of time to settle down.
Closer magazine reports this week that Binky Felstead is considering getting back with her cheating ex Alex Mytton.
Alex recently admitted to 4 counts of infidelity including an orgy with Binky’s ex Spencer Mathews.
Sadly her friendship with Lucy has been sacrificed because of Lucy’s strong opinions that Binky should end her relationship with Alex.
As women we don’t like to think we have failed at a relationship so often we will try and fix it, and take responsibility ourselves on some level, often unconsciously when there is infidelity.
What this does is allow us to forgive misdemeanors. Sometimes this is the right thing to do, however unlikely in these circumstances.
When someone comes clean about infidelity, and the partner who has been cheated on doesn’t want the relationship to end they then convince themselves that their partner is honest, because they have come clean about their cheating, they choose to forget that they were dishonest by cheating in the first place.
Binky is a rebellious character that doesn’t like to be told what to do, hence why her friendships have suffered. I know it’s difficult to see a friend in a relationship which you think is damaging, but it is still important to respect their decision either way. Binky is cutting out anyone that is putting pressure on her to leave because she wants to be with him and to believe he won’t do it again.
Looking at the photographs of them I can see on some photos that they are mirroring each other which implies that they do have a bond and a connection, however it is clear that Binky is the more keen of the two.
Looking at their body language…
Photo 1 shows them in a club last month.
Whilst at first glance this might look very intimate because their faces are so close together, you can see that firstly Alex has his arm folded up to stop her from getting too close, and his hand is curled towards his body and not open towards her. His body is upright and he is avoiding reaching his face down to Binky’s, he may even be pulling back. He’s smiling but it’s not a comfortable smile in fact he looks slightly embarrassed. Binky’s head thrown back in an over the top dramatic gesture, her laugh looks false and is clearly for the cameras. Her hand is loose behind his back. It may be that she is tipsy and he’s almost trying to rein her in. This photo fails to show a united couple.
Photo 2 shows them shortly after they made their relationship official.
This photo clearly shows that Binky is more into him than he her. She believes she has a real catch. Her body is angled towards him, and her arm is around his shoulder as she’s showing others that this man is hers and she’s proud. Because he is taller he’s having to bend his shoulder down to allow her to have her hand there so he has an awkward uncomfortable stance. It would have looked more natural for him to put his arm round her shoulder, and the fact he isn’t in this instance shows he’s not sure and that perhaps he might be feeling things are moving too fast.
Her pelvis is making contact with his hip with shows they have an active sex life and they are still enjoying their honeymoon period.
Binky’s face and body are angled towards Alex, however his face and body are angled away, this implies he’s not sure about his relationship. It could be that he was put under a bit of pressure by Binky to go public and he wasn’t quite ready.
The Sunday Mirror reported on Sunday that Danny Dyer cheated again on his partner of 19 Years Joanne Mas.
Real life Danny seems much like the characters he plays; the lovable rogue. He has that rough, boyish, charm that attracts the ladies, and I can imagine he’s a dab hand at talking women round and charming them whether it’s his partner or women he meets.
When I look at photos of him I see a vulnerability behind his eyes. His wife looks very confident, and I imagine that she has on some level (like many women do) stepped into more of a mother role with him. He would be lost without her.
I would imagine that Joanne is fully aware of Danny’s infidelity, and although she most likely would rather he didn’t cheat, I suspect she knows it is inevitable however would prefer that his misdemeanors were discreet. Unfortunately when you’re a celebrity, around press hungry jounalists, and money hungry people, discretion isn’t an option. Videos, photos and text messages are all evidence that could potentially end up public.
Both Joanne and Danny have a strong connection; as many of the photos they are not only mirroring poses but also facial expressions. See the 3 examples below, where their hands, feet, faces and bodies are mirrored almost perfectly. This shows a powerful bond.
This is one couple I think will carry on with their relationship regardless of this recent allegation. I wouldn’t be surprised if he relies emotionally on Joanne than she does him.
I know he’s a naughty boy but he’s still lovable!
Joanna looks like a lovely lady so I hope they can get through this as a family without it rocking their family unit too much.
If you are a serial cheat in a relationship and want to stop, I can help you! Get in touch with me today to find out how.