Ho ho ho 😉 Calling all the ladies on Santas naughty list!!
Due to popular demand I’m doing a December Masterclass just in time for Christmas. What better gift you can give him than the gift of pleasure 😉
I have the usual 10 spaces available for my X Rated night.
Send me a message today with your email address and I’ll send you full details of the event to be held on Sunday the 11th December.
Here’s some of the feedback from my previous nights –
‘I think everyone would be at ease in your classes’ Louise
‘I wasn’t sure what to expect however I am so glad I came I wasn’t expecting for it to be so much fun’ Keeley
‘I was apprehensive being quite a shy person and not knowing anyone (after the friend that invited me bailed out!), however you put me at ease straight away, and everyone was so friendly’ Emma
‘Fun, interesting and classy!’ Stacey
This class is for those who are experienced and want some pro tips to try, those with some experience who want to try new techniques and refine their existing technique, and for the complete novice, who wants to start experimenting.
The class is fun, informative and educational and is packed with content. I will have my flip chart to take you through things step by step.
Whatever your level you will learn something new to try at home.
Remember I have only 10 spaces per class and they book out fast so register your interest today!
Check out this weeks Reveal for my Sexpert advice on Katie Price and Kieran Haylers relationship.
Infidelity is challenging for any relationship, however add in being betrayed by your two best friends and finding out your partner has a sex addiction, and that infidelity is magnified to a level to cause maximum emotional turmoil.
It’s not surprising that Katie and Kieran’s relationship hasn’t fully recovered from both of these challenging situations. A healthy relationship is based on trust, and without that you are left with various levels of a toxic relationship. By toxic I mean one that is emotionally damaging to everyone in it.
Kieran is still being punished for his behaviour, (however lets remember that most couples wouldn’t survive this level of betrayal). Katie is a fighter and she wants to fix things and make them right, she doesn’t want another relationship to fail. This is a feeling myself and many will relate to, especially those like Katie who are very successful in so many other areas of their lives.
The power balance has always been out of synch with Katie playing the dominant role from the beginning (which unconsciously many successful women do), and guys can feel intimidated and emasculated by this. His sex addiction and messing around with her best friends gave him a feeling of being in control, feeling powerful whilst offering a temporary release from the pressure of trying to live up to the percieved expectations of Katie and trying to maintain some of his masculinity.
Neither party is getting their needs met currently, so to move forwards they have to communicate their needs candidly, support each other and unite, and this needs to be done behind closed doors.
People want to be around people that make them feel good, so if Kieran either has his own insecurities and/or feels like Katie makes him feel not good enough, he will be withdrawing more and more into himself if he feels like he has no one to talk to. I imagine that he is feeling quite lonely right now. Katie’s outlet is to publically talk about their sex life and her distrust in her talks, interviews and books, however he has no outlet for his feelings. Every time Katie talks about Kieran’s infidelity, she relives, reaffirms it and this keeps the anger alive and very much in the present.
The problem is to move forwards she has to fully and wholly forgive him and let go, and she’s not ready to do that yet, and may never be ready to.
True forgiveness is key, combined with compassion and love. I really wish them both the very best.
In my opinion what is often missed when we talk about bullying and awareness is what the root cause of the bullying is. The focus is always on the victim and not on the bully. It’s so important for us to look at why bullies bully if we are to look at dealing with the problem effectively. Bullies don’t need excluding and punishing, they need someone to show them compassion and to really look at the reasons why they are doing it, which is usually low self esteem, insecurity and sometimes behavior modeled and picked up from home. It’s a deflection of what’s going on in their life to outwardly pick on and bully another person. The bully wants the other person to feel what they perhaps unconsciously feel themselves; that they don’t fit in, are not good enough, not acceptable as they are, to name but a few reasons.
I’m not saying we should accept their behaviour, I am saying we should try and deal with the cause of their behaviour through counseling and support.
In this video I talk about how I have been on both sides of the fence I’ve been bullied physically and mentally and I’ve bullied verbally. Let us not forget that this is equally as damaging as physical bullying. Bullying and name-calling is never ok. To call someone a name with the intent of insulting or embarrassing someone is a sign of ignorance and lack of empathy.
One of my favourite sayings seems apt right now. Everyone you meet is fighting their own battle. Be kind always. Don’t hate bullies; give them love as you don’t know what is going on in their lives. Help them understand themselves, their behaviour and give them the support to work to change it so they make different choices moving forwards and learn to treat people with respect.
I genuinely want to thank my bullies as I feel they made me the strong woman that I am today. However that is not a green light to say that bullying is O.K.! For some people being a victim of bullying can have fatal consequences and some people not so strong can end up taking their own life. This is why it is so important to deal with both sides with equal compassion and love.
Does anyone agree or have any comments they would like to share?
Last week I unleashed my new talk on Nottingham City’s Women’s Institute ladies. It was their most successful night of the year so far with a record turn out of over 30 ladies, of all ages from 21 to 70! They were literally queuing out of the door.
There’s a misconception that all the Women’s Institute do is make jam and cakes and drink tea. I can assure you this wasn’t the case; whilst we did have a delicious array of cakes, we also quaffed boozy Cosmopolitans whilst I talked about sex: losing my virginity, masturbation, orgasm and my decade as an escort!
The W.I. are very supportive of sex workers, which goes to show what an open minded bunch of women they really are.
I wanted to create a talk to deliver in synergy with the message of my new book. Which is to empower women and make them feel good about their sexuality, feel like they are doing the right things in the bedroom, whilst encouraging them to try new things in a way that’s accessible to all women, not just the ones who are super confident.
From the feedback I got I nailed it! I just need to decide what to call my talk. Any ideas?
I’m going to be bringing you a series of videos where I explore sexuality and different kinks by some of the countries leading experts in sexuality and kink, and here I introduce you to my first.
At Sexhibition in Manchester I experienced one of Jack the Whippers bondage classes, and it certainly was an eye opener. His knotting skills were exemporary, and he embodied the artistry of Japanese rope bondage. As a fellow martial artist I respected his skill and assertiveness and he tied me up good and proper like a hog roast! You will see the care he takes with every line of rope. There are no twists no rope is out of line, the symmetry was pleasing to the eye and although i couldn’t move a micro milimeter I felt secure and packaged neatly. The rope gave me a feeling of comfort, almost like I was being hugged. I felt safe.
Bondage might seem weird or extreme to some people however there is something exciting and erotic about being tied. It gives you the opportunity to explore boundaries, create anticipation, explore your submissive or dominant side (which must only be done between people who respect each other and trust implicitly). Bondage is a unique and powerful experience that takes sex and intimacy to a whole new level. It opens up a plethora of possibilities for sensual exploration both emotional and imaginative.
There are still people that feel a level of guilt or shame around sex and being tied up is one way to explore relinquishing the guilt, by being tied up. The knots and rope can be used in a sensual way to create friction on nipples, around the vagina, balls and perineum, add in a vibrator and the vibrations will travel down the rope for a unique sensation.
I hope you enjoy the video demo, if you do please like, share and subscribe, there’s more coming very soon!
If you want to try out some mild bondage with ‘tie and tease’ just bring an element of restriction into play with either cuffs, restraints and/or blindfolds then check out my boutique for a few ides to get you started. If you have any questions about the products don’t hesitate to ask 🙂
You can catch my Sexpert advice in Issue 25 of BestFit magasine. I give encouraging advice to a guy who has a small penis, advice to a woman who wants sexy time in the bedroom to last longer with her partner, and someone who’s partner is watching porn.
I’ll be on live at 3pm on the Alan Clifford show talking about how and why I became a Sexpert and introducing my new book 101 Sex Tips, The Great British Sexpert’s Guide to Pleasing Your Man. Grab a cup of tea, join me, and listen in here… http://www.bbc.co.uk/radionottingham
Relationships are hard work, and whats needed is awareness in the changing dynamics. Inevitably all relationships change over time, it could be you want different lifestyles/goals, it may be one of you ends up with an addiction problem, it could be illness either mental of physical including stress, or a new addition to the family. All these things and much more put a strain on your relationship and it can mean that basic intimacy gets forgotten.
It’s important to be aware of these changes because it’s these challenging times when you need to make sure that intimacy levels don’t slip. Let me clarify that by intimacy I don’t necessarily mean sex. Intimacy is a kiss on the cheek, a hug, or even holding hands and clothed touching.
If you’re nervous about initiating intimacy, perhaps it’s been a long time, or scared to be open about your needs, perhaps you want more foreplay, or more sex, or to spice up your sex life and try new things, if you’re in a monogamous relationship then Monogamy is the game to do all of these things and much more.
Find out how it can help you with your sex life and relationship here…
In light of Brads alleged affair I was inspired to post…
Infidelity is sadly rife in many marriages and relationships today, and with the consistent reports of cheating celebrities and sports stars, it’s almost considered the norm.
Here are my top Five Tips to stop your husband straying:
1) Be aware of any changing dynamics in the relationship and make sure communication channels are open.
Are you growing apart? Has sex become infrequent or non-existent? Are you no longer physically attracted to your partner? Are you rejecting his advances? Is he rejecting yours? If you feel any of these things, your marriage is in the danger zone! Burying your head in the sand is not the way to deal with things. As long as you are aware and addressing issues as they arise, you should be able to keep your marriage on track. Always communicate in a positive, open way and be willing to compromise.
If he tries to address worries or concerns with the relationship, listen to him and don’t get defensive — otherwise he may not communicate in the future and just go and cheat.
The thing is that men are clumsy and they are not natural communicators like women, so cut him some slack and try not to take what he says literally. If he thinks you’ll fly off the handle he won’t bother again. Listen to him and try to find solutions for his concerns. That way he will be encouraged to communicate more often and will be less likely to cheat.
Communication is a two-way street and you both have to be open to it and encourage it — not avoid it.
2) Don’t forget the flirty little things that you can do even when the kids are home: little strokes, kisses, touches and squeezes.
These intimate gestures don’t take a lot of time and effort but they are the things that you will notice couples in love doing. They help to keep the connection, which in turn will minimize the risk of him straying.
Men are visual so don’t forget the teasing views you can give him; for example if he loves your breasts, try a low-cut top. Perhaps you’re in the kitchen and need to bend down and happen to be wearing a short dressing gown or nightdress. Flirting should be fun and exciting. If his eyes are on you, then he won’t be looking elsewhere!
3) If possible, be spontaneous with lovemaking and have fun exploring sexual fantasies and desires.
I do understand that it is difficult when you have children and busy lives, but if you can make things spontaneous when the moment arises it is priceless. He will be thinking about you at work and throughout his day. He’s unlikely to be noticing other women when he has spontaneous sex. Instead of making excuses when the rare opportunity arises, just go for it! It will probably make you feel better too. After all, headaches are cured with a good orgasm, so it’s not a valid excuse for avoiding sex. Spontaneous doesn’t mean you have to make it about him; it’s a huge turn on for men when you use their body for your own gratification.
Talk to your partner about his desires and fantasies and see if there’s a way you are comfortable accommodating them in some capacity. Experiment with your own fantasies.
4) Be confident in who you are as a person and know your values. Don’t allow yourself to be a push over. Demand respect.
Many guys cheat simply because they are allowed to. A serial cheat doesn’t respect women and never will. I know people want to stay together for their children, but what sort of example is set when the kids see their mother accepting infidelity in the marriage? Even if you think you are hiding things well, children pick up on the vibes. They know whether they have parents that are a team or if they despise or just put up with each other. If it is the latter, they see that there is no affection. Think about how your actions and choices will affect their future relationships.
5) Make sure that you make quality time for just the two of you.
Having children doesn’t mean that you should neglect your marriage; you both need to find time to work on your marriage and keep the connection. After all, your marriage is the foundation for your family — your roots, so to speak.
Try to find a way to have some sort of date night at least once every couple of weeks — a night where you get sitters or take the kids to stay with relatives and do something fun, relaxing or romantic just the two of you.
You both need quality time together and it’s imperative that you find it somehow. Don’t make excuses as to why you can’t, because if you think you can’t then you can’t. Be the glass-half-full person, realize the importance and think, “how can I make time?” Then you will start to come up with solutions.
I can help stop him cheating….
Check out my new sex tips Book 101 Sex Tips – A Guide To Pleasing Your Man, available now, get your signed copy from my Boutique, just click the tab on my home page 🙂
With the lack of sex education, teenage pregnancies and STD’s (sexually transmitted diseases) on the rise there has never been a more important time to raise awareness about sexual health.
If you are sexually active then you need to make sure you visit the clinic for G.U. Medicine and ensure you are not carrying any transmittable diseases. Firstly not all STD’s have symptoms, so don’t think you don’t have to go if you don’t have any. You can catch diseases both orally and via the penis, anus and vagina.
The simple solution is use condoms! Always. The only time it may be ok not to use them is if you are in a long term, relationship, you 100% trust your partner and you both get the all clear before you enter into sexual activity. However you can never 100% guarentee fidelity. The most important thing is to be aware of STD’s and periodically check yourself out at the clinic for peace of mind.
As a teenager I had regular promiscous sex from the ages of 15-20, and I was constantly back and forth to the clinic with Chlamydia. Childless at 41 I often wonder if I made myself infertile (which is one of the long term risks of STD’s).
I’m giving away FREE condoms with all orders from my Boutique in support of Sexual Health Week. Just click the Boutique tab on the menu to see what’s on offer.