I was aware that things weren’t quite right with my husband and I, as he’d gone off sex. I had initially thought this was a good thing. To be honest I wasn’t that bothered. We’ve been married 3 years and we don’t have children. We both work full time and my job had just gotten rather more stressful and I’d been working longer hours. I stumbled across your website after hearing an interview where you had said that if your husband has stopped asking for sex then that’s the time to be concerned and not complacent. I didn’t hesitate contacting you and after a brief email exchange I decided your unlimited 3 month Skype call option was for me.
I realized I had been so wrapped up in my job that I was allowing my marriage to go by the way side. We hadn’t had sex for over 6 months. He used to initiate it but after a few rejections he just stopped asking and I admit I felt relieved.
You helped me understand that his attentions were elsewhere, which meant a strong chance he was either cheating or thinking about it. I hadn’t noticed before but when you asked if he’d changed his appearance and it dawned on me that he’d been going to the gym more when I’d been working my extra hours and had started wearing aftershave.
When you suggested to keep a close eye on him when he went to the gym, and that I had an induction on day I knew he was there, I wasn’t expecting to catch him red handed schmoozing with another lady. Neither of them saw me. I felt my world crush down around me.
It transpired he had been having an affair with a lady he’d met at the gym.
Working with you I realized that I had been pushing my husband away, to the point where he was no longer interested in me. I acknowledged I had to take part responsibility for what had happened, something that would never have occurred to me before working with you. I had facilitated the huge void by rejecting his affections; it wasn’t just about the sex. It is still hurtful that he cheated but day-by-day I am learning to deal with it and move our marriage forwards in a positive way.
Had it not been for you Rebecca I may have just stayed in denial. I wonder how many other women are in denial? You made sure I thought very carefully about what I wanted to do moving forwards.
Without going into too much detail your work with me has been invaluable you helped guide me through opening the communication channels to get my marriage back on track and my husbands attentions back on me. We now have a mutually satisfying sex life and I feel like I did when we first met – like I have a new lease of life! I feel so close to him right now and I know what I need to do for my part to keep things going in the right direction. Thank you Rebecca! I am so glad I found you but no offence I hope we don’t speak again! J
Rachel – UK