The coronavirus lockdown has meant that many people in relationships are apart. Being away from your partner is challenging. It’s true that absence makes the heart grow fonder however with modern technology we can be closer than ever whilst we are apart from loved ones.
There are Skype, FaceTime and various other options for online video chat. 
If you’re new to phone sex, here’s a step by step how-to guide…
If you or your partner have kids you might need to schedule an actual time to engage in phone sex, if not spontaneity can be exciting when one of you finds yourself in the mood.
Sexting is the perfect foreplay to phone sex. 
If you feel nervous about having phone sex try to relax beforehand with an aromatherapy bath. Let the warm water loosen up your muscles and wash yourself with care, bringing your attention to the feel of the water on your skin and your hands touching your body.
With phone sex remember you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, and there is no right or wrong.

Tips to prepare… 

  1. Find somewhere private, a bedroom is the obvious place because it’s comfy for lying down
  2. Tidy up your room and make the bed
  3. Dim the lights, perhaps set up some candles
  4. Play soft music
  5. Put on your favorite, sexiest clothes, and underwear
  6. Turn yourself on by gently caressing your body, and thinking about your lover, however, don’t let yourself get too turned on just yet – that’s what the phone call is for!
  7. Optional – Have some lube, toys and tissues to hand

Step 1. Once you’re ready, call your partner on FaceTime or just voice call if you prefer.
Step 2. Break the ice. Start by telling your partner how much you want them and wish they were with you.
Step 2. Share what you are wearing, how you are feeling, and what you are thinking. It’s ok to be nervous and shy and to express this to your partner. See if they will take the lead.
Step 3. When you feel ready Escalate into sexy talk. You can describe, or ask your partner to describe:

  • What you’re doing: How you look and the way you’re touching yourself. E.g. Tell them what you’d like them to do. Or you can enjoy simply listening to them.
  • What you’re imagining: You might want to start out slow before moving onto steamier things. Think of this as foreplay.
  • How you’re feeling: Describe the physical and emotional feelings you’re experiencing as a result of what you’re doing and/or what they’re saying. You might moan or groan and/or offer words of encouragement. How explicit you get, and how quickly, is entirely up to you. 

Tip: don’t say anything that you feel uncomfortable saying as it will come across as disingenuous.
Ideas for things to say:

I’m stroking my inner thigh and imagining it’s you…. I want you to imagine I’m kissing up your chest….. I’m imagining being inside you…..Let me see you touch yourself….. What would you do to me if I was with you now? What do you want me to do to myself? I want you to make me cum…..I am so wet/hard thinking about you….. I have had this fantasy that….

Tip: Making your partner dictate where and when you can touch yourself is a great way to experiement with sub/dom roles.


Step 4. If you feel comfortable one or both of you may want to masturbate, either with or without toys, and if you feel comfortable to really let yourself go see if you can orgasm together, but don’t make orgasm the end goal.