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Over the past few weeks I’ve been discussing communication and conversation. I wanted to share an experience a friend had with online dating with you today.

This is how a guy who had a date arranged with my friend sabotaged it within 24 hours.

After a couple of messages on match.com they finally exchanged phone numbers. After a handful of text messages they arranged a time to speak.

When they spoke she arranged to meet him in person in a few days. Then he asked where she lived. She was Derby based and to be discreet she said she lived a couple of miles from the city centre. Unhappy with this unspecified area he became pushy and asked exactly where she lived which he then followed up by mildly mocking her for not saying the exact area where she lived. He laughed and said something like, “I’m not a weirdo you know.” This got my friends back up straight away. This comment shows insensitivity and ignorance. Nobody introduces themselves as a weirdo, and it’s completely ignorant for a guy not to understand a ladies caution to give personal information out to a guy she didn’t know. He is somebody that wouldn’t have empathy for other people, because he was ignorant enough to think that because he knew or considered himself not a weirdo that that was enough for her to trust him. The phone number she gave him was not her personal number; it was a Pay and Go phone. He had no respect for her privacy and caution.

Women have to be especially careful (although many aren’t) about giving personal information to complete strangers.

She also said she’d been at the supermarket that day and he wanted to know exactly which supermarket she went to.

Although she didn’t cancel the date straight away, she decided pretty much when she got off the phone that it wasn’t going to happen because he had made her feel uncomfortable. He sent her 3 text messages within the next 24 hours and she eventually messaged him back to cancel.

Guys be wary about women on online dating sites that readily give too much personal information to strangers too quickly… I’d suggest they could be potential ‘bunny boilers’ and/or have emotional issues, either that or they are not very bright and naieve. Respect those ladies that are cautious, because it shows they are savvy and will generally be more stable people.

If people want you to have personal information then they will offer it. If you ask a personal question and you don’t get a detailed answer, remember that this could be intentional, so it’s not cool to make someone feel awkward or uncomfortable by prying further. Its good to keep conversation light hearted and impersonal to avoid any mishaps. N.B: by impersonal I don’t mean you can’t ask people about their likes and dislikes, but be aware that your date may not want to share with you the bars, restaurants and clubs they frequent, or the specific area they live until they get to know you better and you have earnt their trust. And that is my tip of the day 😉