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Remember that you don’t have to speak all the time; with the right person at the right moment there is such thing as a comfortable silence.

If one or both of you are uncomfortable with the silence you need some ‘ice breakers’. There are so many things you can say. Here’s some examples –

1)  The random factor – learn some interesting trivia, ‘did you knows’ e.g: did you know that a zebras skin is also stripy? Did you know that a slug can slide across a razor blade without cutting itself? A follow on from these statements could be the question “do you like animals?” “have you got any pets?”

2)  Holidays – “any holidays planned?” “where are your tops 3 places you want to go and why?” Make sure you have yours so you can carry on the conversation and talk about your top places. This could then lead on to talking about places you’ve already been and those you liked and the reasons why and those you didn’t and the reason why.

3)  Film – movies. Ask and discuss favourite movies…. Here’s a great way to ask someone to the cinema in a blasé, relaxed way. You discuss films you’ve seen and why you enjoyed them then you discuss films you want to see including films currently at the cinema, then you could say “hey we should go sometime” and see her reaction. If it seems positive and she says she would like to some time, you can say, “well I’m free next week if you want to catch a film one night?” whatever you do don’t take offence or make her feel awkward if she doesn’t take you up on this.

4)  To tell positive and/or funny stories from childhood are always a winner, and they open up questions/discussions about her family. Be aware though if she doesn’t want to talk about her family. Don’t force the issue, just test the water by asking if she has any funny stories to tell.

5)  Job: we spend most of our waking hours working, if you love your job talk about why you love it, and ask her about her job. If she’s passionate about her job it will be a great conversation. Ask her where she sees herself in 5 years time. Is she ambitious?

6)  Goals: this is a nice lead on from the job question. Women are impressed with men with life goals and ambition, so make sure you have some genuine goals and ambitions. This will get you major brownie points.

7) Tell her a story about something funny or interesting that happened to you recently. Discussing these will help you find out if you have things in common and are on the same wavelength.