I’ve had a couple of guys recently asking me about what to talk to women about to avoid the conversation going dry.
Remember my last post highlighting that only 7% of our communication is through words?
Conversation is really is not what anyone should be getting hung up on. Be careful not to talk too much. If you’re worried about conversation I would suggest it’s because you talk too much when you should be listening. Because if you’re listening you wouldn’t be worried about what to say! 🙂
It’s one of the biggest mistakes men (and women) make; talking about themselves too much.
Remember advice from one of my previous posts? Be interested and interesting. I know that nerves can make people waffle I would urge you to be the one asking the questions and showing a genuine interest in the ladies you meet. You will set yourself apart from most men in a positive way. Don’t be intrusive or personal though, and watch for signs that the lady you are talking to is comfortable talking to you. If they are not, change your conversation.
Those that really want to know what it is that makes people good communicators, I urge them to research great communicators, leaders and/or charismatic gentlemen and notice their physiology. E.g: Russell Brand, Howard Marks, Winston Churchill, Martin Luther King.
Learn and try to emulate them. Test out trying their physiology when you are talking to women and note how they respond to you. Think of it as an experiment rather than seriously trying to chat women up.
Notice how they stand, hold themselves, their expressions and gestures. Note all the non-verbal signs that they communicate. You can do this by watching them on You Tube with no sound on. It’s important to watch them without listening to them firstly so you don’t get too hung up on their words. Then listen with the sound and note how their words are in synergy with their body language.
When people want to learn a new skill they either read a book, research on the internet or do a course. Communication is the most valuable skill you can have, yet one that many people don’t seem to think they need to ‘learn’. We should all enrich our lives by learning how to better our communication skills, because in doing so it will have a positive effect on all our relationships. A great book to read is How To Win Friends and Influence People. http://www.amazon.co.uk
If you’re thinking ’what does this have to do with dating?’ then here’s one of your obsatacles for starters. To have success with women you need to be able to communicate them. If you improve your communication skills, you will find it easier to talk to and approach women and your confidence will grow.
I’ll find some examples of great communicators/rapport builders over the next few days and share with you my thoughts, so you can implement some of their physiology and see if you can make it work for you.