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Jonny and Ruby
Now here’s an interesting couple…
Gorgeous girl Ruby got a real catch with hunk Jonny. She looked genuinely baffled when she got picked, and it’s such a shame because she clearly doesn’t realise how naturally beautiful she is. I think she was intimidated by Jonny’s good looks.
Sadly because of this she didn’t allow Jonny to connect with her. What Ruby needs to understand is that not every guy wants the stereotypical bimbo, over glamorous, high maintenance, woman. Jonny by his own admittance said he liked less conventional girls that were interesting. Which was his way of saying that fake boobs, hair, tan and lashes are definitely not for him; he likes and appreciates a more natural looking girl.
Ruby said she was punching above her weight, which further reiterates her lack of self-esteem.
Because Ruby’s not confident with how she looks she was uncomfortable with compliments… maybe because she didn’t believe they were genuine, however I believe Jonny is genuine and was finding his date very hard work for this reason.
Ruby was also very aware of all the other girls that fancied him and by not accepting his compliments or allowing him to connect with her she was pushing him away, maybe assuming that he would want the other girls and almost trying to engineer the situation so that he showed interest in other girls, so she could be proved right – that in her eyes she wasn’t good enough. However Ruby out of the girls with their lights on, he picked you!!!
Maybe Ruby just felt that he was too good to be true, and because of this she couldn’t allow herself to relax and embrace his compliments. In TMOTG Ruby shook her head when Mark Wright asked if he realised all the girls fancied him, implying she didn’t believe him. I think probably he did know.
He too seemed uncomfortable about his looks, but in a different way. I think he knows he’s good looking but his body language implied he was almost embarrassed about the effect his looks have on women – the eyes turning down, breaking eye contact and the shaking of his head.
Jonny wanted to kiss Ruby but she didn’t want to, and so on every level there were brick walls put up, which didn’t allow him to get close to her.
I really wish that Ruby had embraced her date Jonny and gone with the flow, accepted his compliments and allowed herself to feel good.
Men are attracted to women who are confident with themselves, who they are as people, their looks and their body. Ladies don’t fall into the trap of losing guys because you don’t realise your own value and self worth.
I’ve just done a guest blog for Love Honey about gaining body confidence. You can see it here… http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/blog/2012/10/26/better-in-bed-sex-tips-confidence-and-losing-inhibitions/
Knowing that Jordan openly had admitted a crush on Jonny it was interesting on TMOTG the barrier Jonny put up with his body language between Jordan and himself. He raised his knee up and made sure his body was facing away from her in an exaggerated rebuttal.
Ruby and Jonny have met for lunch since the show so who knows what will happen. I wish them both the best of luck!
Ryan and Jordan
Ryan said he was normally confident on dates but with Jordan he wasn’t. Once again, as has been the theme this week, there was intimidation on one side. Ryan was so in awe of Jordan that he admitted he wasn’t his usual confident self. Sadly this would have probably been what would have attracted Jordan to Ryan.
As a dating expert I often get people asking me “why are the guys/girls I don’t like interested and the ones I do like not?” Well it’s really very simple. With the people we don’t like we behave disinterested, don’t reply to texts/calls immediately, we’re too ‘busy’ to meet, some will end up offending with cheeky banter in an attempt to put them off, and are baffled when they seem to be more keen.
With the guys/girls we do like often people are keen, want to call and text all the time, always be available, pay loads of compliments – then they aren’t interested.
So here’s the thing – all you need to do is behave with the same way with the people you do like as you do with the ones you don’t like.
In Ryan’s case as he says he’s assertive and confident usually on dates, so had he behaved this way with Jordan he may have had a different result. I think he over complimented Jordan. Don’t get me wrong women love compliments but too many can be off putting.
I think Jordan is the kind of lady that enjoys a little bit of a challenge and doesn’t want guys to be throwing themselves at her. If he’d have played it a bit cooler and hard to get he may have gained her interest, because there was clearly attraction at the start, but as Ryan points out; he felt her ‘drifting away’, and Jordan said there was ‘no spark’.
Glamorous Jordan also mentioned she liked to be laughing all the time on her date and have lots of banter, so it may have been that all the compliments made things just too serious. He may have been ‘too nice’.
I think the push pull technique could have worked here with Jordan’s personality type. You can see my blog post and watch a video of Russell Brand building sexual attraction in 5 minutes here and completely nailing push/pull technique here…
Compliments are pulls. Make sure you only give compliments that he/she has genuinely earned.
In fact this couple have prompted me to write another post. It will be coming soon… on Compliments and why too many don’t work.
Once again although Jordan and Ryan didn’t work out, they will both have dates flocking after the show because they are both very attractive people with great personalities. All the best guys!