As I sit and write this my little one is chirping away on her mat as she finds her voice. It’s like sweet music that I could listen to all day. She is just starting to move around and soon there will be no stopping her!
On the 23rd September I welcomed my beautiful daughter Evie-Rae into this world, and I am still in awe and a little overwhelmed every day that I have been blessed to be entrusted with this little tiny human for the first 18 years of her life. She is my daughter but I don’t ‘own’ her, she is her ‘own’ being.
Already she is showing signs of independence. She’s not a needy clingy baby, and is quite happy to chill by herself (allowing me time to work and clean the house), and equally she is happy when we engage with each other, she gazes into my eyes and we connect so deeply, and she’s even happy to be passed around from person to person she doesn’t know. She sleeps through the night, and only cries if there is a problem. So far she is grounded, chilled and happy.
I want her to grow up knowing that whoever she is I will always accept, love and support her whatever her gender, sexuality, and lifestyle. I want her to feel the freedom to express herself, and follow her dreams no matter how big or small. The most important thing is her happiness.
The past few years I have studied Buddhism, Hinduism, mindfulness and meditation and these things have given me coping strategies for life and my emotions. My goal is to teach her how to manage her emotions in a healthy way through being able to show her how to reach a place of calm, and encourage compassion and forgiveness.
We are all equal, no matter what we do, someone homeless on the street is no more or less of a person to someone raking in a million a year. I cannot bear when people hierarchy other people. Whether it’s “they’re too posh”, “I/they only live in a council house”, or “I/they just work as a cleaner” we should never place others at higher or lower value to ourselves, and I want to instil this value in Evie Rae.
If she wants to work in MacDonald’s then I will support that one hundred percent. Her life, her dream, her choice. My only hope for her is that she sees some of the world and experiences what different cultures have to offer.
Every morning I say with her, “we are happy, we are blessed and we are grateful.” Gratitude is something I was sadly missing as a child, and it’s something I think is so important.
My hope is that’s she’s not I don’t one of those kids that’s ‘want want want’, I would like to encourage her to ‘give give give’, and to not get attached to material things. I’d like to think she would be that child that goes up and gives her toys to other children to play with and/or keep.
Not being religious I don’t buy extravagant gifts any more for Christmas, last year I hand made all my gifts, and most were editable or drinkable, so there won’t be any being spoiled at Christmas for her. No I phones or tablets or flashy ‘keeping up with the Jones’s’ stuff. Christmas for us is about giving and family and remembering those less fortunate. In my opinion children need more love and quality time not stuff. I cannot understand the financial and emotional stress some families put on themselves at Christmas to buy gifts for their children.
These are just a few of the values that I wanted to share on Mother’s Day. Happy Mother’s Day to all you mums out there you’re doing a great job! And if you’re doing ‘mum and dad’ roles, like myself, without any financial support, then keep going you are strong, we can do this! It is far better to go it alone rather than be in a toxic relationship.