“I FEEL A LOT MORE CONFIDENT THAN I DID BEFORE”
“WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING?”
“From reading your emails and liaising with you I became more confident in what I need to do. Having you at my fingertips so to speak has been invaluable to my progress and success with women.
I have found exceptional value in you helping me understand what goes on in the mind of a woman; you really are an exceptional ‘Translator of Women’.
Having your advice in writing to look back on has been really helpful; I never thought that I would be able to squash my fear of approaching and talking to women. You’ve helped me realise through understanding women that they aren’t as scary as they seem, and my confidence has soared! It hadn’t occurred to me that it was my lack of confidence that was holding me back.
Your techniques have been challenging but highly rewarding, and your easy-going nature has ensured that you are a pleasure to work with. Keep up the good work!”Ross P Birmingham UK
“YOU PUT ME AT EASE FROM THE GET GO”
“Arranging our personal chat was so easy and I was surprised at how quickly I got to speak to you – I was expecting to have to wait for weeks! I didn’t expect you to be so flexible with your working hours, but I found your booking and confirming process both easy and efficient, which as a busy (and impatient) man, I appreciated.
The thing that struck me about the conversation was how relaxed I felt talking to you. You put me at ease from the get go and didn’t feel like I needed to hold back or mask my emotions. This comfort enabled me to reveal things that I wouldn’t usually speak of and therefore allowed me to start working on some personal issues that would change the way I approach a potential ‘love-interest’ scenario.
Needless to say, I was very pleased with the overall feel of our Skype conversation and will certainly be in contact to arrange another, I feel that I can learn a lot from you and your encouragement in certain areas will benefit me across the board when dealing with people.”Matt - Nottingham
“HAD IT NOT BEEN FOR YOU REBECCA I WOULD HAVE ACCEPTED AND STRUGGLED, PROBABLY INDEFINITELY, WITH MY HUSBANDS BEHAVIOUR”
“One morning I woke up to find my husband wasn’t beside me I found him having web cam sex with a model. We had only been married 5 months – we are both in our early 30’s.
He didn’t know I had seen him but I didn’t know what to do. We were having sex and I thought our sex life had been mutually satisfying.
Eventually I plucked up the courage to ask him about it. He didn’t act like he was doing anything wrong, and simply stated to me that it was his hobby! I found out that his ‘hobby’ also included porn videos.
I desperately wanted to make my marriage work and basically told him I’d do anything he desired to make him happy in the bedroom, and I wanted him to be open and speak to me about what he wanted so he wouldn’t feel the need to hide things from me and be secretive. I accepted that if he was going to use web cams I wanted him to have sex with me first.
He apologized however even though I allowed him to watch the videos he stopped watching them and I did feel happy, but then he stopped asking me for sex.
I then realized he hadn’t stopped watching them at all he was watching them in the bathroom.
I didn’t understand why he was still watching them even though I had given him full freedom.
Had it not been for you Rebecca I would have accepted and struggled, probably indefinitely, with my husbands behaviour. I’m a private person so I know I also wouldn’t have shared my problems with any friends or family.
Working with you Rebecca helped me understand my husband’s problems and because he refused to acknowledge them we are now separated. I felt crushed and a failure for my marriage not working out, and I was miserable. You have helped me rebuild my confidence and empower me. I am starting to feel happy again in myself and I realise now that it would have been impossible to stay in a marriage where my I was constantly being sexually undermined by web cam models. I know I deserve to be with some one that loves and respects me, and I’m confident that this will happen one day in the future when the time is right.”Aisha
“I AM NOW CONFIDENT AND PRETTY MUCH MEETING AND INTERACTING WITH ATTRACTIVE WOMEN DAILY”
“I didn’t know that I was suffering from approach anxiety and that it was so common! I have always been fine talking to women that I don’t fancy but talking to those who I did fancy I would suddenly turn into a gibbering wreck, make a complete fool of myself and walk away full of shame and embarrassment – so I stopped approaching women I was attracted to.
It didn’t occur to me that this was something I could seek help with and I was relieved to find you whilst searching for help with online dating sites. It felt like fate led me to you!
The grounding techniques you taught me have made a huge positive difference to my lack of self-belief (which I learned from you; was the cause of my ‘approach anxiety’) and I am now confident and pretty much meeting and interacting with attractive women daily. By taking the focus off my desire to date attractive women and be intimate with them, it helped me see them as normal approachable people. Through just talking to women and you guiding me step by step, my confidence has had a huge boost. I don’t feel nervous about speaking to attractive women and have even been so bold to ask some ladies out on dates and they have said yes! Ok some have said no too, but before working with you, I would have been crushed if I’d been rejected so I wouldn’t ask. However now it’s not a big deal if a lady says no, because I now genuinely believe it’s her loss! J Thank you for everything Rebecca!”S. Miller Midlands UK
“I’M HAPPY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS”
“When my 20 year marriage broke down I felt like I lost my identity and my confidence plummeted. All my friends were ‘our’ (my wife and I) friends and I didn’t know how to build my confidence back up and social circle. I spent around 6 months wallowing in self-pity before I decided that if things were to change I had to do something about it. I stumbled across your site, and it resonated with me.
There’s lots of men giving men advice but I really wanted a woman’s perspective and the advice sessions I have had with you have set me on the right track. Following your invaluable advice I have now built my confidence back up. I’m dating for the first time in 21 years and I am currently dating a wonderful lady. It’s early days but I am content and happy for the first time in years. I have a new network of friends and I am living life to the full.
Thank you Rebecca for everything! No offense but I hope I won’t need any further advice, however if I do, I know where to come!”James (Lawyer) - London
“THANKS TO YOU REBECCA MY MARRIAGE IS NO LONGER IN THE DANGER ZONE”
“I hadn’t considered that my marriage was in the ‘danger zone’ as you put it! I was mildly amused when I read the article you did for The Sun newspaper however I was intrigued to look you up. I have to confess I did think, ‘who the hell are you to be giving advice?!’ and it was out of morbid curiosity I looked you up. I never expected to be paying for your advice! When I read your words on your website I began to see how what you offered could be of great value to anyone concerned about, or dealing with infidelity.
I had done exactly what you say a lot of women do, I’d been burying my head in the sand. I’d gone off sex with my husband and no longer found him physically attractive. I’d successfully been avoiding sex with him for about 8 months, and naively thought I’d been doing rather well. We have 2 children and I am a working Mum trying to juggle everything and admit I was caught up in the general stresses of daily life and my focus was our children, home and work.
It never occurred to me that my husband might be dissatisfied or cheating because he’d stopped initiating sex. We had sort of drifted apart and I assumed we both just accepted it.
I worked with you to realize it wasn’t just about stopping my husband straying it was about my needs too, about my happiness in the marriage and having a stable unit for my kids and ultimately a healthy marriage. By stopping the intimate side of our relationship we had lost communication and connection, which now I understand is why I lost the desire for intimacy.
I am embarrassed to say that I hadn’t expected to like you as much as I do! Thanks to you Rebecca my marriage is no longer in the danger zone. My husband says he hasn’t been unfaithful but he did admit to considering it, so I’m glad I got in touch with you sooner rather than later!”J.S - Mayfair London
“I AM AMAZED THAT YOU MANAGED TO BUILD MY CONFIDENCE UP SO MUCH BY JUST TALKING TO ME ON THE PHONE!”
“I was terrified about moving things to the next level. I had been dating for 3 months (my longest period ever!), and the lady I was with was starting to think I just wanted to be friends with her because I was avoiding spending time at her house or mine, because I was scared of disappointing her sexually. I had only had sex with three women in my whole life – one at university, once when I was drunk on a works night out and once with a call girl. I knew that if I didn’t address this problem immediately my first proper relationship would be over.
Without going into too much detail; working with you Rebecca helped me realize that my inexperience would not be an issue for the right woman and in some ways it would a positive because of my willingness to learn and desire to please. It hadn’t occurred to me that those more sexually experienced might actually not be good lovers. I am amazed that you managed to build my confidence up so much by just talking to me on the phone!
You were right; the lady that I am with has been very patient and understanding, and had it not been for you I would no doubt have lost what is now a very mutually fulfilling relationship on all levels. My confidence in the bedroom has grown rapidly in such a short space of time (something I never believed possible) and I love finding new ways to please my beautiful lady.”DP - New York
“I FOUND YOUR ADVICE EMPOWERING AND MY CONFIDENCE GREW WITH EACH SESSION WE HAD”
“Somehow I always ended up with women that didn’t respect me, took advantage of me and I’d end up being a doormat. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I always felt I was respectful to women however they didn’t respect me. The worst thing about it is that these women were ditching me and I was constantly left feeling hurt, confused with my little confidence crushed.
Somehow I stumbled across your site and reading a few of your blog posts and decided that you would be able to help me deal with this ongoing problem that was doing nothing for my self esteem.
I felt a failure in my relationships and wanted to understand why this kept happening to me, why I wasn’t good enough. I was initially apprehensive about talking to you as I felt embarrassed to be seeking help but through our email communication you put my mind at rest and I’m so glad I got in touch.
Working with you on various Skype sessions you helped me understand that I had lost my self-respect and I had no feeling of self worth, which is why others didn’t respect me.
I found your advice empowering and my confidence grew with each session we had. I am currently single but happily so. I used to flit from one relationship to the next and always entered into my next relationship as a broken man. I always thought I needed to be with someone to be happy, which is why I am enjoying my ‘me’ time. When the time is right the right woman will come along, but for now I’m happy going on the odd date here and there but my standards have risen and I no longer allow people to treat me badly. My friends have commented on how much happier I am. I feel like a new man in a good way and it’s all thanks to you!”Mario - Spain
“EVERYTHING YOU SAID WAS SPOT ON”
“I found you on Twitter and we’d been tweeting a while before I found myself privately talking to you about how I wanted to get back with my ex and the mother of my child.
You promptly told me you could help and I had no hesitation in arranging to speak to you. I desperately wanted my ex back but I felt with each day and week passing I was losing her more. It was also breaking my heart being away from my little boy.
You worked with me to look at my lifestyle and how this was affecting my ex’s choice to be with me, you also translated the things she had told me (I don’t think I’ll ever be able to learn how to understand ‘woman’ language lol), and you changed my focus from wanting her back to what I could offer her.
Everything you said was spot on. I followed your advice and we are back together. What you do Rebecca is invaluable. You have got me my family back! You seriously cannot put a price on the value of that! It is incredible work that you do. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!”Ben - North East
“ULTIMATELY I AM VERY HAPPY WITH THE WAY THINGS ARE NOW”
“I’ve been married for 2 years and love my wife dearly. I read your article on the Mail online with interest. I have not been unfaithful to my wife and I can’t imagine ever being unfaithful to her, however I didn’t find our sex life fulfilling. In truth I had gotten very bored of it and I had made some suggestions to try and spice things up but I got a very negative response from my wife who withdrew further from our limited intimacy. I didn’t know what to do.
I didn’t think I would ever be the sort of person to pay for advice for this sort of thing but actually it seemed so easy. I would never have gone to sit down with someone in person and talk but to be able to talk to you in the comfort of my own home seemed easier to accept, and not such a big deal – if that makes sense?
During our Skype chats I realized that I had not been communicating to my wife in the best way, which was why I had got such a negative response. You helped me understand things from her perspective and how to communicate with her more effectively.
Ultimately I am very happy with the way things are now. We are both exploring new ways to make each other happy and our marriage is stronger as a result. We’re making up for lost time ;)”Tim - West Midlands
“I wasn’t seeking sex advice when I found you. I’d just been intrigued after watching your interview with Richard E Grant on Hotel Secrets. It was your book that interested me. After reading it I found there were things I was curious to try in the bedroom and I wanted your guidance on how to communicate my needs and desires to my husband, so I could get my needs met, without damaging his fragile male ego.
When I initially emailed you I have to confess, I wasn’t sure how serious my enquiry was. However when you replied I booked our first consultation straight away. I immediately felt confident you could help me.
Because of the job you used to do I felt much more comfortable to talk to you than I would a traditional sex therapist, (if that’s what they are called?!) and I don’t think I would have ever gone down that route anyway.
I’m not sure how much sex a healthy couple in their late 40’s should have but my husband and I had sex once every 2-4 weeks. My husband I know would like it more, but I was one of those women that avoided it wherever possible. I just simply didn’t enjoy it. I knew that my husband wasn’t cheating and we are very much still in love. When we had sex I was just wishing for it to be over but he seemed to be always be happy and say how amazing it was. I often faked an orgasm which I realise after was not doing me any favours, but it was making him feel good!
Suffice to say after various Skype consultations with you, my husband and I have more sex, he is absolutely thrilled with how things progressing (as am I!) and I think the pair of us are getting quite adventurous thanks to you. I am finally enjoying sex and getting what I want out of it. I feel I have had a sexual awakening – better late than never!
I hope that both men and women appreciate that you are giving this invaluable advice and people are open to learning from you.”Jackie - Jersey
“OUR SKYPE CHATS WERE EMPOWERING AND YOU HAVE CHANGED THE WAY I THINK ABOUT MYSELF”
“I am a larger lady and I was unconfident with my looks. This was affecting my relationship with my long-term partner. We have 2 kids. I have never been slim but after our children I did put on more weight. I found being a stay at home Mum stressful and confess I was comfort eating. I have the most amazing partner he compliments me every day and never complains but our sex life was being affected because I just didn’t feel good about myself.
I found you after reading an article you did for Love Honey on body confidence. I thought I had to lose weight to feel good so it was refreshing to hear that this wasn’t the case!
You worked with me Rebecca to build my confidence back up. I don’t want to go into detail in this review of your consultation services but I would like to say that I am so glad I found you. Our Skype chats were empowering and you have changed the way I think about myself which in turn has meant a more active and mutually satisfying sex life with my partner, (for which he would like to express his personal thanks! J).”Tracey - London
“IN A NUTSHELL YOU EMPOWERED ME REBECCA”
“I was in a very unhealthy relationship and had been for 4 years.
My friends constantly told me that I was attractive and could do so much better but something wouldn’t let me let him go.
I used to be very outgoing and confident however since being with my partner I became withdrawn, miserable and unconfident with my looks and myself as a person. I was a shadow of my former self.
I knew I was changing but I didn’t understand why I didn’t feel I could walk away. My partner constantly put me down and made jibes about how I looked. I started to believe everything he said and became incredibly insecure and paranoid.
Rebecca I am so glad I found you. You empathized with me and helped me realize that it was him that had destroyed my self-confidence because of his insecurity and worse still; I’d allowed him to do it. He didn’t want me to feel secure because he thought I would leave and find someone else! This had never occurred to me.
In a nutshell you empowered me Rebecca and with your support and encouragement during our Skype consultations gave me the inner strength I needed to walk away from this destructive relationship. My friends are so happy to have their old friend back and I am genuinely very happy on my own for now. Thanks to you I have learnt how to recognize the warning signs early on. I am determined to never repeat this unhealthy relationship cycle.
Keep up the good work! Girl Power! J”Janie - Canada
“I AM SO PLEASED THAT IN SOME ROUNDABOUT WAY I FOUND YOU!”
“I never thought that I needed help (I’m a stubborn man after all!) and I didn’t know that a service like this actually existed. Even though I wasn’t looking – I am so pleased that in some roundabout way I found you!
Despite my concerns with paying and booking services online, a swift email to you put my mind at rest – the booking process was fast and efficient and I was thoroughly impressed that we got to speak within 24 hours of me making a payment to you.
In the 30 minutes that we spent chatting I came away with a long list of things to change on my profile, including my shocking photographs. I hadn’t put too much thought into them which I realise now was a fatal error. I also hadn’t realised that my profile wasn’t clear and it was both horrifying and enlightening at the same time hearing how women would read between the lines and translate the text in my profile.
I implemented your suggestions straight away and was amazed with the results. Previously I would write to lots of ladies and they would view my profile but then ignore my email. I was getting so frustrated with the ignorance of these ladies and was on the road to getting quite bitter.
Since I have changed my profile and followed your steps for contacting women I am now getting replies to some of my emails. Ok not all of them, but I don’t think it’s possible to get a reply from everyone, but I am happy to be receiving emails and within a week I arranged 2 dates and I’m finally getting the opportunity to interact with women.”N.R. Boston - South London
“THIS REALLY HAS BEEN A LIFE CHANGING EXPERIENCE FOR ME”
“I had been aware for a while that things weren’t going right in my dating life, and my confidence was diminishing. I am a successful man – a solicitor, but when I divorced my wife of 15 years I lost a lot of confidence and didn’t even try to date. I guess I just put my head in the sand and thought I didn’t deserve to be happy, and would have to make do, with whatever came my way if and when it happened. I had considered myself reasonably attractive but the more time that passed and the lack of sex and general interest from women made me feel like a complete loser. I was starting to resent my friends that were happy in their marriages and relationships and quite frankly I became miserable at work.
I have to say Rebecca I was apprehensive about contacting you and seeking your help and guidance because (I know this is silly) but I was worried what you would think about me. If all other women saw me as a loser then I figured so would you.
Contacting you was the best thing I did – I realised within the first 5 minutes of our initial phone chat that you have the exceptional ability to make people feel good about themselves and your warm and friendly nature put me immediately at ease.
It became apparent to me that although we made amazing progress in a short space of time over the phone that I would benefit from working with you in person.
Meeting you I felt nervous as though I was going on an actual date with you! But you greeted me like an old friend. I didn’t feel I was meeting you for the first time. I felt a shift in my confidence even in that initial greeting.
To briefly summerise; The time I spent with you Rebecca has changed my life in a very positive way. The techniques you showed me how to use to ground myself and build my confidence have been invaluable. Whilst there were times that I found challenging the results were highly rewarding. I cannot believe that I actually talked to so many women. Having you by my side definitely boosted my confidence through the roof and I now think nothing of speaking to an attractive woman and/or asking her on a date.
My mind set has shifted to one of positivity and I don’t take set backs and rejection so personally now. This shift has meant that generally I’m a happier person and people – both men and women, have changed towards me. I seem to be attracting people in general to want to be around me and people have noticed the positive change at work. I thought I wanted a relationship but I’ve realised that with my new- found confidence I’m happy dating with no strings attached. This really has been a life changing experience for me and I never expected it to have so much benefit to other areas of my life.
You’re so much more than a dating expert!”John.S - Birmingham UK
“I FELT LIKE I WAS CHATTING TO AN OLD FRIEND”
“I’m going to be honest I was doubtful that you could make major changes for me in my life but I liked your videos and your blog advice and I wanted to get the chance to meet you.
When we met for a day I wanted us to go out for lunch and just chat, but you managed to (without me realising) get me to open up to you and suddenly I’m telling you everything about my worries and concerns with women and sex. How did you do that? I felt like I was chatting to an old friend, and I didn’t feel judged or uncomfortable, it felt like it was the most natural thing in the world to be doing.
I hope you don’t take this the wrong way but I see you as one of the boys. You aren’t like a lot of other women. The guys that get to work with you are very lucky indeed. I didn’t think I had a big problem with women because I’d go out have a few drinks and sometimes women would come to me, and I’m not proud of this but generally I would take what was on offer. I never wanted to see the women I slept with again and generally they weren’t attractive and/or ‘girlfriend material’. I never took women out on dates, because the women I interacted with were one-night stands.
However through talking to you I realised that I didn’t have the confidence to approach and talk to random women in broad daylight without any beer!
Doing some of your techniques I was able to get myself to a place where I now feel confident to talk to women, and even ask them out on dates. The quality of the women I attract has greatly improved. Even having lunch with you, helped my confidence when it came to dating, because it gave me a sample of how things would be if I actually did take women out for lunch/dinner.
I got a date last week from chatting to an attractive woman when I was in a coffee shop on my lunch break from work! – Something that would have never happened before meeting you. I cannot thank you enough for showing me that I can attract the women I now know I deserve, boosting my self esteem, and kick starting my dating life.”T Pritchard - UK
“BY SPENDING A HALF-DAY WITH YOU, I LEARNT HOW TO SHIFT MY MIND SET TO A MORE POSITIVE PLACE”
“Having limited sexual experience was holding me back from ever being truly confident with women. I would actually get phone numbers from women but then be scared to phone them because in the back of my head there was a voice saying ‘ she’s not really interested in you, you’re going to disappoint her, you can’t satisfy her, she will know you are inexperienced, you won’t be able to perform and she will laugh at you!’ As you said to me ‘I was literally doing my own head in with my own negative thoughts’.
During my Uk vacation I arranged to spend a half-day with you. I learnt how to shift my mind set to a more positive place, quashing my inner negative voice. In doing so I am far more relaxed about women and dating.
To be able to discuss openly my fears about my bedroom performance with you without feeling awkward or embarrassed has been incredibly valuable. I was worrying too much about the bigger picture (intercourse) and bypassing the building rapport and intimacy phase. Understanding how this works and breaking things down into smaller levels has made things more manageable for me and gave me a better understanding of women and how they work; thus eliminating my fears in the bedroom. Once this was achieved I was able to confidently call women who gave me their number and invite them to go out on a date without putting pressure on myself about what would happen at the end of the night.
I understand now that the experience I was seeking was not going to be achieved by having sex with a number of women but by finding a patient and understanding woman who I could explore and discover sexual intimacy with.
By dating a few women and through careful selection (you helped me see the signs for spotting the right lady) I am now dating a gorgeous girl who I am now in a sexual relationship with. We didn’t rush things I cherished the build up and the getting to know phase, with intimacy following as part of a natural course.
Because we took things in stages I didn’t get hung up on the ‘intercourse’ side of things, and when it finally happened it felt like the most natural thing in the world! Don’t get me wrong sometimes I get the niggling negative voice, but I know through the techniques we did together how to shut it up! Thank you Rebecca x”Jay - Atlanta GA
“…. YOUR WORK WITH ME HAS BEEN INVALUABLE”
“I was aware that things weren’t quite right with my husband and I, as he’d gone off sex. I had initially thought this was a good thing. To be honest I wasn’t that bothered. We’ve been married 3 years and we don’t have children. We both work full time and my job had just gotten rather more stressful and I’d been working longer hours. I stumbled across your website after hearing an interview where you had said that if your husband has stopped asking for sex then that’s the time to be concerned and not complacent. I didn’t hesitate contacting you and after a brief email exchange I decided your unlimited 3 month Skype call option was for me.
I realized I had been so wrapped up in my job that I was allowing my marriage to go by the way side. We hadn’t had sex for over 6 months. He used to initiate it but after a few rejections he just stopped asking and I admit I felt relieved.
You helped me understand that his attentions were elsewhere, which meant a strong chance he was either cheating or thinking about it. I hadn’t noticed before but when you asked if he’d changed his appearance and it dawned on me that he’d been going to the gym more when I’d been working my extra hours and had started wearing aftershave.
When you suggested to keep a close eye on him when he went to the gym, and that I had an induction on day I knew he was there, I wasn’t expecting to catch him red handed schmoozing with another lady. Neither of them saw me. I felt my world crush down around me.
It transpired he had been having an affair with a lady he’d met at the gym.
Working with you I realized that I had been pushing my husband away, to the point where he was no longer interested in me. I acknowledged I had to take part responsibility for what had happened, something that would never have occurred to me before working with you. I had facilitated the huge void by rejecting his affections; it wasn’t just about the sex. It is still hurtful that he cheated but day-by-day I am learning to deal with it and move our marriage forwards in a positive way.
Had it not been for you Rebecca I may have just stayed in denial. I wonder how many other women are in denial? You made sure I thought very carefully about what I wanted to do moving forwards.
Without going into too much detail your work with me has been invaluable you helped guide me through opening the communication channels to get my marriage back on track and my husbands attentions back on me. We now have a mutually satisfying sex life and I feel like I did when we first met – like I have a new lease of life! I feel so close to him right now and I know what I need to do for my part to keep things going in the right direction. Thank you Rebecca! I am so glad I found you but no offence I hope we don’t speak again! J”Rachel - UK
“YOU HELPED ME UNDERSTAND MY MARRIAGE WAS IN THE DANGER ZONE”
“I have been married 5 years with 2 children and I’m a working mum. As with many Mums I’m sure juggling a career, sex went by the wayside after we had children. I am up at the crack of dawn to sort the kids out and then drop them before going to work myself, and I felt like I was constantly on the go with no time for myself. When my husband initiated sex I felt resentful as his work started and ended with his 9-5 and often he’d stay for after work drinks leaving me on my own with our kids.
It felt like his life hadn’t been affected by having the children, so because of the resentment I didn’t have sex with him. In fact I reluctantly had mechanical sex twice the last year with him and it was in danger of getting less frequent. It didn’t bother me but it bothered him. I felt I was getting him back.
Rebecca you worked with me to help me understand that by depriving myself of sex there was probably a lot of sexual frustration and also to help me understand that my marriage was in the ‘danger zone’.
You said to me that my husband was either cheating or could possibly do so at some point. This honestly hadn’t occurred to me. I had assumed because we were in it for better or worse and I realize now that naively I thought things would sort themselves out.
You advised me that sex would release a lot of tension on both sides and then would be the time he would be most receptive to communication.
So I stepped out of my marriage so to speak and put all personal problems aside and thought about my sexual needs as a woman. In effect I used him for my own sexual gratification. I found it empowered me, made me feel good, and him.
It released lots of tension on both sides, and a day or so later with your guidance I outlined what it is I wanted from him moving forwards with regards to more help with the kids and less time at after work drinks. We now have a date night every 2 weeks where we get a sitter in and have bought the spark back to our marriage.
I don’t believe he’s cheated although he did open up and say that at one point he had considered it. We are now in a happy healthy marriage. Thank you Rebecca!”Sam - UK
“YOU HELPED ME UNDERSTAND MY MARRIAGE WAS IN THE DANGER ZONE”
“I am in my late 50’s and have been married for 30 years. We have 2 grown up children that no longer live at home. I consider myself reasonably good looking and over the years I have kept myself trim. My sex life with my husband I had always found very fulfilling, although over the past 5 years or so it seems to have petered out to the point where we just stopped altogether. I had honestly tried to make an effort with sensual lingerie etc. However, I found every time he rejected me I felt undesirable, rejected, unattractive, sad and a whole host of negative emotions. I found them so uncomfortable that I stopped initiating sex from my husband, and tried to busy myself with other interests mainly getting more involved in my local village events.
I guess I found it easier to do this than address the issues in my marriage. When I was getting to the stage where I was enjoying the attentions of another man, I knew I had to seek help. I didn’t want to have an affair – and that’s where I was heading.
After reading about you Rebecca I wanted to see if there was anything I could do to make my marriage work. I don’t think either of us thought about divorce we just got on with things. I guess we sort of slipped into the role of friends.
Working with you Rebecca I realised I had to stop thinking the lack of sex was anything to do with me. I acknowledged I was actually being selfish thinking it was about me, because in thinking this way I had failed to be aware of personal things going on in his life.
I don’t wish to share his personal problem but working with you helped me understand a lot more about men. I came to realise that men are also susceptible to emotions getting in the way of sex, if they are feeling distant from their wife. If they feel a failure it can lead to lack of confidence and a bruised ego all of which can affect sex drive. Then there’s certain medication that can affect their sex drive, and over use of pornographic material. There are physical issues including erectile dysfunction to consider. These are all things I hadn’t contemplated or been aware of – I just assumed it was me.
Working with you Rebecca we got to the root of the problem and our sex life and marriage are both back on track! I feel closer to him than I have felt for many years. I can’t thank you enough.”RoK
“AFTER WE CREATED MY NEW PROFILE THE QUALITY OF MY DATES DRAMATICALLY IMPROVED”
“I wasn’t having any joy with online dating. I had been on a reasonable amount of dates (however I’m sure not as many most women). When I’d go on a date with a guy I’d think we had a nice time, and they would say nice things to me on our date, but I’d never hear from them again. I started wondering what was wrong with me.
My little confidence was dwindling, so I stopped online dating.
I stumbled across your website and you gave me hope that perhaps it had been my profile that wasn’t up to scratch.
I worked with you to create a new online dating profile, using your 5 step Formula. It was so easy to do, and I realize I had missed out so much essential information from my profile and because of what I had written I was sending out the wrong messages.
After we created my new profile the quality of my dates dramatically improved.
Whilst we built my new profile it became clear that I needed further help to make sure that any dates I went on weren’t ‘one date wonders’, so I had a couple of further Skype, dating consultations. I realised that my lack of confidence was actually deterring my dates. I expected not to hear from them again, and so I didn’t!
Finally after 4 months of dating I have actually removed my profile because I don’t need it anymore! I have been dating the same guy exclusively now for 2 months.
Although I hope I don’t need it again too soon I know that if I do at least I have it ready!
Thankyou Rebecca!”Jo - Liverpool UK